Aikidoka!

by Kjartan Clausen

sung to the tune of 'the lumberjack song' by Monty Python

Well... I never wanted this job in the first place
I... I wanted to be... an Aikidoka!
Leaping from mat to mat!
To the seminars taught by the mighty senseis of Aikikai! With my best girl by my side!
The Ikkyo!
The Kote-gaeshi!
The Hanmi-Handachi!
The Shiho-nage!
The Suwari-waza Kokyu-ho!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh, I'm an Aikidoka and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and train all day.

Chorus: He's an Aikidoka and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and trains all day.

I practice Jo, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Aikido-L: He practices Jo, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea?...

Oh, I'm an Aikidoka and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and train all day.

Chorus: He's an Aikidoka and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and trains all day.

I practice Jo, I flip and jump,
I like to fold square paper.
I put on Karate clothing,
And practice P & K.

Aikido-L: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to fold square paper.
He puts on Karate clothing
And practice.... P & K???????

Oh, I'm an Aikidoka and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and train all day.

Chorus: He's an Aikidoka and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and trains all day.

I practice Jo, I train high kicks,
Fire guns at the range.
I wish I'd been in NRA
Just like my dear papa.

Aikido-L: He practices Jo, he trains high kicks
Fire guns?? at the ...the range????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be in NRA? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so harmonious! Poofter!

Oh, I'm an Aikidoka and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and train all day.

Chorus: He's an Aikidoka and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and trains all day.

All: He's an Aikidoka, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (BONG)