Aikido -- The art of unity with the ground
Aikido: The way of blending energy The Aikidoka (one who practices Aikido) attempts to become one with the mat by being thrown into it repeatedly in the hope that s/he will merge with the mat. This usually doesn't happen, so the process must be repeated. Frequently.
Tatami: commonly thought to mean "mat" this is actually a Japanese curse. The confusion arose from Westerners visting dojos in Japan and hearing people scream "tatami" as they unsuccessfully blended with the mat.
Matte: "te" = hand, "mat" is obvious, so "mat" "te" is the art of hand-stands and walking on hands. Sometimes this results in unsuccessful blending with the mat which causes the aikdioka to have to blend with the mat while wearing a cast. This is much harder, as the cast prevents the Aikidoka from reaching the mat.
Kiai-do: dyslexic Aikido. Also known as "drunken Aikido", this is usually practiced in bars, accompained by much shouting.
Ukemi: The art of blending with the mat--part of what Aikidoka study.
Ukemi: the art of hurling yourself at the Earth for no good reason.
Slapping out: This is the sign of an unsuccesful blending with the mat. The Aikidoka is so frustrated at not blending with the mat that s/he will hit the mat in a futile attempt to blend. It is futile because all Aikidoka know that true blending with the mat only occurs at high speed.
Nage-waza: The art of helping others to blend with the mat--the other part of what Aikidoka study.
Randori: mispronunciation of "runned away". This is the optimal method of blending with multiple attackers.
Shodan (male): A male who is so adept at blending (and helping others to blend) that he can wear a skirt to class and nobody in class will laugh at him because he might help them learn to blend with the mat. At high velocity.
Hakama: what shodans call a skirt so they don't have to teach quite as many people to blend with the mat (see shodan (male)).
Atemi: What you use to convince uke that your Aikido is strong enough to deal with their attack.
Shihans: Can't live with 'em; can't throw 'em.