50 ways to throw your Uke

by Aikido-L

sung to the tune of "50 ways to leave your lover" by Paul Simon

It's all down at the dojo she calmly said to me.
Come to class one night and shortly you will see,
That it's not hard, if you just take it logically:
There must be 50 ways to throw your Uke!
More than 50 ways to throw your Uke!

You just need to avoid, Lloyd,
No need to be mean, Dean.
Just go with the flow, Joe,
and use lots of Ki.
You need to move to stay still, Jill
There's no need to yank, Hank
and please don't destroy, Roy,
Just blend and extend.

I thanked her for her caring, and her time,
But I'm just not the sort that digs that kind of rhyme.
My left and right keep keep switching in my mind...
She said, "There must be 50 ways to throw your Uke!"
Many more than 50 ways to throw your Uke!

Just take him by the wrist, Chris,
Step past his knee, Lee,
Lead his intent, Kent,
And listen to me.
No need for a big blow, Moe,
Best not to hurt, Burt,
Do it with love, Gov,
And soon you will see!

I was thinking I could maybe handle it this time!
The mountain top's not close, but I gotta start the climb,
Someday soon I'll be droppin' Ukes on a dime,
There must be 50 ways to throw your Uke!
Tell me more about the 50 ways to throw your Uke!!

Just get in his face, Grace,
Become one with the son, hon,
Take him to the mat, Kat,
And put on the pin.
Show him the one who's the boss, Ross,
Then let him up, Chuck,
Step back with care, Clair,
'Cause now it's your turn!

Swing at his head, Fred,
Chop at his neck, Lech,
Aim for his hara, Mara
Provide energy!
He did it for you in turn, Fern
So give him a hug, Doug,
Hold on real tight, Mike,
And then you will fly....