Bad gi...

by Chris L. Kuszmaul

I was in California, where I had but one Gi, and few clothes, because I was just there for the summer. Well, I kept the red sweater away from the Gi.

"Back Red sweater Back I say!" I said.

And it stayed in its wad in the corner while I wash my Gi and four socks and, well, stuff but not much when suddenly one day out pops the gi and it is pink.

"Where are you red sweater?" I asked. It was in its wad in the bottom of the washer!

"Bad red sweater!" I said. But the gi looked only a little bit pink, nobody would notice.

All that day, my gym bag had a certain extra glow to it, and when I arrived at the Dojo, I was tieing on my belt when Sensei comes in, his eyes bulge, he says "What!?" Snorts, laughs, and stumbles out of the dressing room.

"Gee, its not that bad is it?" I thought to myself. Then sensei comes back in and says "You could bleach it, but - there isn't time - oh well...". Well, I exited the dressing room in my regalia, the focus of attention for the entire dojo. The senior student, who doesn't like my attitude anyway, was the only one who did not laugh. She only said, when the gi was pointed out to her:

"Yes, well..." Disapproving.

It hurt my feelings, but what could I do?

Sensei did not throw me all practice, I felt worse and worse, and took it out on the a beginning student who was big enough to survive, and after he and I finished he goes and THANKS me for teaching him so much, he is happy! Maybe I should abuse beginners more often!

Finally, sensei announces that he 'accidentally' did not throw me all practice because the gi was subconciously repelling him or something, and he threw me banng bang bang bang bang. I felt much better.

I soaked the gi in bleach, it came out white as new. At summer camp, sensei has my arm (shihonage) RIIIIIP! "Uh oh" thinks sensei, "Time for a new Uke."

"Just my gi, sensei!"

"Oh, OK"


Now the dojo is tittering.

Sensei signals for another yokomenuchi (salted, lighly buttered italian sauce on a strike with the hand to the temple).

Sensei: Important safety point...


Sensei: You gotta get a new gi.

Me: Hai! Sensei.


My body: KawhuMP!

Fortunatly, I had just gotten two gis that very morning.